THE ART OF BECOMING w/Michelle Núñez

For Michelle Núñez, awakening is an ongoing journey. It’s in the characters she inhabits and the stories she tells. It’s in the stillness of meditation, the movement of yoga, and the unshakable truth of her identity. She is an actress, an artist, an activist—but most importantly, she is a seeker. A seeker of growth, of meaning, of freedom. In this conversation, we talk about the lessons learned in stillness, the strength found in surrender, and the radical power of self-expression. This is Michelle Núñez, awake and unapologetically herself.

ALLIÉ: Your journey as an actress, activist, and advocate is deeply intertwined with your personal growth. If you could go back and have a conversation with a younger version of yourself—maybe before you booked Ruthless, before you found yoga, or before you fully stepped into your truth—what would you say?

MICHELLE: I would probably say... I think I would preface and say everything's going to be alright and you don't have to have it all figured out. I think when I was younger, I rushed a lot. I rushed and I was always sort of trying to finish the thing because I knew the other thing was going to come and I needed to be ready for that. Whether it was, like, you know, in high school being like, “I need to rush out of high school to get into college so I can rush out of college,” and so forth.

In high school, I graduated by my junior year—I was already fully enrolled in college and taking college classes, and just not even attending high school classes at all. And I look back now, and I'm grateful for that and I'm so honored for that, and also I realize that there may have been moments that I sort of missed out. So I think—just slow down. Trust the process. Trust in, for me, God—but any sort of higher source or creative power that you sort of lean into. And yeah, I would also say: You are loved, little Michelle.

You're loved not only by your family, but by me—like, future you loves you. And that higher power that some of us sort of lean into—like myself, like I said, for me it’s God—reminding her also that she’s loved by God. Like, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re okay. You’re beautiful. And it’s all going to work out.

ALLIÉ: Those are all beautiful pieces of advice, for sure. Let’s keep going deep. You’ve immersed yourself in meditation, yoga, and the study of Buddhism and Hindu culture. In the world we live in—fast-paced, overstimulated, and at times overwhelming, what has been the most profound lesson you've learned from your spiritual practices. How has it shaped the way you navigate both your career and personal life?

MICHELLE: I think I would say that the big lesson is… it’s really wrapped up in trust. In life, there’s so much we don’t have control of. The only constant is change, but I think there’s a trust that gets to be had within that change. Something that’s intertwined in it is trust. And it’s sort of… it’s like that quote: “Leap and the net will appear.” It’s a sort of a trust fall with life.

You know, I had no idea what I was doing moving out to LA. I am from the country. I’m a country girl. I did grow up in New York City at certain points in my life because my mom migrated from the Dominican Republic and got her citizenship in New York City. So we were there as a family a lot. But she was a single parent in the military, so we were always sort of moving around and living in the country.

And I think trusting how everything always sort of worked out—you know, from a young age I had to leave friends all the time, leave schools. I went to three different schools in three years. I was constantly trying to become a chameleon or learn how to adapt to certain groups. And it forced me to learn how to trust myself in every situation and know that, okay, these are the friends that are good—I’m going to trust that. I’m going to trust my mom’s now removing me from this school, removing me from this friend group, and placing me somewhere else. We moved to Germany—some distant country. And just trusting myself and my mom and my sisters that everything was going to be okay. And that translated later into life. Because with every sort of religion that I’ve studied—whether it be Hinduism or Buddhism, or even now, walking in alignment, being a disciple of Jesus—even all of these religions, wrapped up in it, there’s a central core message of trust.

Whether you’re just trusting in yourself and the goodness of all, like the Buddha taught, or you’re trusting in this higher being, this higher power, like Hinduism and Christianity teach—it’s all wrapped up in this trust, this trust in something greater than yourself. So I think that’s the biggest lesson. Because something like the film industry—I mean, music, the music industry—it’s also, I mean, Marilyn Monroe said it: so fickle. And that’s so true. And I think Adrien Brody, actually, in his Oscar acceptance speech, he was like, “All of this comes, but all of this can go—so quickly.” And there’s this trust that you have to lean into as an artist to keep pursuing that higher vision you have.

ALLIÉ: You’ve been open about your identity as a pansexual woman and your support for the LGBTQIA community. In a society that loves to label and box people in, what does true freedom of self-expression look like for you? And when was the last time you really felt it?

MICHELLE: This whole idea of labeling yourself. A few years ago, I started boxing myself in... And, you know, now I identify as straight. I’m in a loving relationship with my boyfriend, who I love. But my support and allyship with the LGBTQIA+ community will never cease to exist.

I was having this conversation over dinner the other night about this way that we all sort of want to identify ourselves and put ourselves in these kinds of conglomerates. And this want, this feeling of wanting to break free of all that. And now, with everything in the world that’s got our attention, you know, we’re running toward these different things. It’s sometimes hard to sort of hone in on who we are unless we identify ourselves as something.

It is important to identify ourselves as something. Like, even for myself—I identify as someone who’s pursuing the heart of God, for instance, or also pursuing being a good friend, being a good sister. My niece is four months old, so identifying as someone who just wants to be basically good, like in the Buddhist principles.

What I think is so beautiful and lovely about the LGBTQIA+ community is that it all represents the sort of inherent need we all have to be free and to express ourselves in this way that—okay, you don’t understand why, you know, I use perhaps my religion or my spiritual sort of identification now—but it’s this idea of a core message, right?

Let’s say, for example, Jesus rising from the dead. That’s actually crazy to believe in. That’s crazy to believe in! And if someone believes in that—I honor that. I believe in it. That’s something to honor and to respect, right?

The idea of a trans human being realizing that they’re trans—I can’t understand that. But it’s just like a white person can’t identify as me—I’m half Black. You know, it’s this idea that we can’t really put ourselves in each other’s shoes. We have to just come from this—going back to trust—but this understanding and mutual respect that we have for each other to be able to express ourselves and have that freedom.

And I think, answering the last part of the question, I felt it most right now—really in my music. I’ve really grown into this relationship with my music where it’s this symbiotic sort of expression. And it’s different from acting because on set, you know, I’m prepared—as Zane, for instance, I’m prepared—but then we have our director come in and they sort of set the guidelines, set the preface of what’s going on in the scene. Where am I coming from? Where am I going? What’s happening? And that informs every decision I make. And also my director saying, “Okay, I need you to X, Y, Z.” So there’s also their input coming in as well.

Whereas music is this… Music is so vulnerable. It’s just me, my voice, and the lyrics I’ve written. I work with a music producer who’s incredible… And it’s then me coming into the studio, recording, and then us coming together and saying: What’s the guitar? What’s the drums? What’s everything that’s going on? What’s the bass? And it’s this beautiful collaborative experience, like it is on set, but I think it’s very vulnerable in that it’s just your voice. It’s just going out into the world for everyone to interpret, just like they interpret our film and TV. But there’s something so raw and so vulnerable about just being the one to use your voice and to say these words of a song that is intense.

I wrote these lyrics the other night—the song is called “Freedom”—and one of the lyrics is, “Love was meant to cross the border.” And it’s sort of this idea of… we put these barricades around us in the United States, but in other places too. But the reality of love is, love is supposed to seep through—really, everything around us—including anyone who wants to come into our country, of course to just do good.

I’m not condoning bad things or wrong things to be taking place in our country because I love our country dearly. But I do believe that love was meant to cross the border, and there’s a way for freedom—like American freedom—for all human beings. I just don’t know that we’ve all figured it out yet. I haven’t. I for sure haven’t figured it out. But there’s something there, you know? There’s something beautiful there.

ALLIÉ: I love that. I love how you speak to that element of vulnerability, because I think people often—when they hear “vulnerable,” they think it means weak. But really, it means strong. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, that’s a sign of strength and truth.

As an artist, Michelle, your work is often about stepping into different characters and experiences. But when do you feel most like yourself? Is there a moment—on set, in nature, in stillness—where you feel fully aligned and at home in your own skin?

MICHELLE: I feel fully aligned, and in my own skin—I mean, I want to say, and it could be so generic—but there’s something about my home. My actual home here in LA, and my dog, and my boyfriend, and this sort of covenant we have in this household where I—I mean, even this weekend, I was so sick, and I was just wrecked. But like, I didn’t want to leave my home, and my partner was just taking care of me, and my dog was cuddling with me. I just feel so grateful, and lucky, and blessed to have a home and to be able to share the space with people—a person and a dog—who care about me. And I feel like I’m really, really aligned and in tune in my home.

And I think, in addition to that, there’s something beautiful about nature, of course. There’s something about being in God’s creation of this world and the way that I think we are meant to interact with this world—outside of the four walls of our homes. There’s something for us, tangibly, to get—to receive—from the outside. And of course, nature too, but also human beings. You know, I have a group of friends here—a group of all ladies—and I feel so at home with them. I show up in sweatpants and some hoodie, and we’re having dinner, and we’re talking, and you know, there’s something special about that.

And yeah, I would also say—on set—it’s fun to drop in and be fully yourself while also being someone else simultaneously. But it’s also part of the challenge—what makes it so fun, I suppose—is that it's equal parts Michelle, equal parts Zane. And which parts of Michelle get to come out, and which parts of Zane are coming out. Because Zane isn’t Michelle. Michelle isn’t Zane. But Zane can’t be Zane without Michelle, and Michelle can’t be Zane without Zane. So it’s this beautiful mesh of both worlds. So it’s also fun on set, just being present and allowing that to sort of take over.

ALLIÉ: 'The Awakening Edition' is about redefining strength and purpose. People often think strength is about endurance or pushing through, but sometimes strength is about surrender. What’s something you’ve had to let go of to step into your purpose more fully?

MICHELLE: First of all, I love that question. And surrender is so—it's such a central theme to everything. And what I really want to say is: to every religion or spiritual belief, there's a surrender—to the basic goodness in Buddhism, there's a surrender to God in Christianity. There's this overwhelming amount of surrender that you just have to do.As soon as you say yes to any sort of belief or spiritual guidance, it’s like you're surrendered to that being, that entity, that energy.

I've had to let go of unworthiness. I know that’s been a hot-topic keyword in recent times in our world and society—and it’s so valid and it’s so true. There was an underlying air of unworthiness that I experienced and witnessed in the way I allowed people to treat me, in the way I didn’t show up for myself on set sometimes, the way that I let just friends take advantage of situations.

This worthiness concept has been an interesting ride. Because learning to be worthy, learning that you are worthy—which we all are—sometimes fought with my ego. Because it’s like, “Well, who am I?” You know? There’s unhoused people, and there’s children that need food and all of these things. Like, they are worthy of these things—why don’t they have it? Like, why am I going to declare I am worthy?

But the thing is, you actually can’t help anyone else unless you’re helping yourself first. And being able to give only comes from being able to receive. And so receiving your worthiness—it’s so important.

So leaving behind this sort of doubt and the unworthiness that clouded my brain for a lot of my life growing up… and then, I think, moving to Los Angeles—it’s one of those cities where you either say yes and you’re here and you do the thing, or you don’t. And you retract. And you let comparison take over. You let envy take over. You let self-hatred come over you. And that’s the dark side of what can happen in the industry and in the city. 

I think having a strong idea, a strong knowing of who you are—your identity and your worthiness—makes me remember: I deserve to be here. And I’m working to be here. And I’m doing what gets to be done to sort of mark with the flag, like, “Michelle is here. I am here.”

I’m worthy… and so are you.

One of my favorite songs is I Am by Satsang. And he says, “I am holy, I am sacred, I am worthy—so are you.” And that’s like the chorus of the song. And I sing that on full blast, because it’s a blanket case for all of us—that we’re all worthy of a beautiful existence with whatever we have.

I’m actually going to Africa this summer with my church. And I just want to—my one prerogative for those three weeks is—I am just… I could literally cry right now. All I want to do is just hug and love and just be of service and just show these children how incredibly worthy they are of a stranger’s love, of our God’s love, and the love of a world that tries to hide them and what’s actually happening. And I just want to break that wall down and be like: You are so worthy. ∎

Find & Follow Michelle on Instagram: @micheellenunez